Smoky's Letter to Lada Monguligin

Smoky a giant angora rabbit has developed a deep love for Lady Lada Monguligin.  This a transcript of the love letter he has written her, which traveled through many perilous paths to reach Lady Lada at the Siege of Kiev.

To my dearest  love Lady Lada Monguligin, Il-Khatun of Ostgardr
From your ever faithful worshipper Evergreen Darkest Dawn, called Smoky,

My sweet, I hope my missive does not find you PINING for our reunion, but the dastardly Suuder does PLOT to keep us apart!  I have prevailed upon the neighborly Shriek the Hawk of Hawke’s Reache to bring my letter to my kinsman Sir Hopsalot, the Cony of Brokenbridge, to deliver my missive into your fair hand.  I fear that it shall be intercepted by the minions of your fearsome Lord. 

My dearest for I cannot contain myself! Since receiving a sign of your regard in the form of your signature upon our joint likenesses.  I must confess my deepest passion for your beauteous person.

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
Thy gown of wool will be of mine own wool,
To cushion and caress thy every move! 

For you are my sun! My moon! My starlit sky. Without you I dwell in darkness. I love you! Your power has enchanted me, I stand helpless against it. Come to me, now. Tonight, let me worship you in my arms. I love you! How can I stop the beating of my heart? It pounds like never before. Death, next to love is a trivial thing. Your touch is worth 100,000 deaths.  I will not fear your fierce lord with the deadly arrows and evil appetite for hasenpfeffer!  For am I not a rabbit? A fleet and tricksy creature?  That Aesop spoke BASE FALSEHOOD of my ancestor!  For it is not possible for as sluggish and clumsy a beast as a TORTOISE to DEFEAT my fleet and agile kind!

Ah!!! Your touch! How I long for the touch of your hands when you hold me and pet me.  I must restrain myself from sinking my teeth into your lovely, lovely flesh.  For I fear the taste of your blood will cause me to forget myself and fall upon you like a wild beast! 

O my love, I must relate to you my situation for it is fraught with danger.  The EVIL MOLLY MONSTER dwells with Mommy and me.  The dread beagle Molly who was the downfall of my dear cousin Sir Hopsalot.  Poor Hoppy, he shall hop with a limp forever more from the attentions of that most fearsome hound.  I implore you!  Please rescue me from her despicable habits of devouring my leavings with INDECENT abandon!

My dearest since we cannot be together.  I have sent a small token of my regard.  It is camouflaged as the arms of the Canton in which you reside, so your dread lord will not suspect.  Please remember me fondly as my fluffiness caresses your tender brow and protects your delicate ears from the cruel winter winds as they sweep in from the eastern ocean.  Know too, the same eastern wind will have ruffled my floof in Hawkes Reache before it caresses your cheek and in this manner we may be briefly united!

Let the tail of our love will ring through the ages like that of Jessica and Roger Rabbit!

I pray that my words will not be met with indifference or disgust, but I can no longer remain silent upon receiving the sign of your favor when you autographed our picture. 

Forever in your service (and I hope your deepest affections),

Evergreen Darkest Dawn
Your very own darling “Smoky”

April 9, Anno Societatis LII

Canton of Hawkes Reache, Barony of An Dubhaigeainn

Wow…  Smoky is a terrible, terrible plagiarist!  lol

Kit Marlowe is rolling in his grave.  And George Lucas would probably be horrified if he knew about this.